Seasonal app

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FOUR passengers on the Titan paid $250,000 each for the chance to explore the Titanic wreck.

$250,000 is 13.9 million Philippine pesos. Where it lands may not matter to the payer who clearly has more money to spend.

There is an ice cream ad that asks, “Where will your 20 pesos go?” The ice cream is only P20.

So, the question now becomes, Where will your $250,000 go? It depends on who will reply. For the gambler, it goes straight to the casino, and that’s only for one night or less. For the fashionista, a Hermes bag as an addition to her Hermes collection. For car enthusiasts, it’s a reservation fee—haha—for a Rolls Royce Boat Tail worth $28 million.

In the vaults of the rich and wealthy, money is just a toy. Scrooge McDuck even dives into his cold hard cash.

P1.5 million in P1,000 bills can be carried in a small eco bag that looks like you’re just carrying small slices of bread from a convenience store. P13.9 million isn’t easy to keep, though—you need the baggage for that. Or an empty sack of rice.

The people in charge of distributing bribes the night before election day know how to hide the P1,000 bills, that is, if their candidate is generous. Otherwise, it will be reduced to P500, P100, P50, and P20 fees. Let’s see if the barangay election will be as festive.

For the 2022 campaign season, my friend showed me the peso bills he received from a candidate. I asked him if he was going to press charges, and he looked at me like, Whaaat?!

There will be a brownout, and the election results will change the moment the lights come back on. This is a miracle. An event. Because of this, the Pinoy has been shrugging his shoulders since birth. Maybe it’s already in his subconscious because his parents always complain about the corrupt Pinoy government and the corrupt practices of elections. He just hopes that the shoulders of the Commission on Elections will not shrug.

The P13.9 million is considered the petty cash fund of the most corrupt government official. Like the coins you keep in piggy banks. It can easily be spent as a downpayment on a Rolls Royce. But where and when will that luxury car be used if, let’s say, the politician lives in Cagayan de Oro? Hmmm. He should buy a mansion in the US or Europe where he can inflate the Royce without raising the eyebrows of Filipinos.

I can only afford Royce because the chocolate is made in Japan. Yum!

As former President Erap Estrada once said, “That’s just weather-weather.” And even the phone’s weather app has become a weather-weather app because its recent forecasts seem to be the exact opposite of reality. A friend’s wise advice is to stop trusting the app and go outside and see if it’s sunny, cloudy, or raining. Then, bring an umbrella if you are a girl scout who still follows the motto, “Be Prepared.”